Choosing the best version of you…
“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
* Photo by Peter Nelson on Unsplash
How do you choose to treat yourself and others, both personally and professionally?
Over the past couple days, I’ve been listening to the book “Real Happiness at Work”, by Sharon Salzberg. She explores the eight pillars of work satisfaction, taking me back to some of my foundational practices, remembering compassion and human intentions - I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to explore mindfulness or what it means to simply be a ‘good human being’. 😊
As I write this, I’m mindful that Sharon’s teachings are very present for me, as I consider how we engage with each other during uncomfortable situations.
Today, I came across a post about a women’s experience being demoted. She eloquently described her expertise and then the actions and behaviors of her (male) colleagues during and after her demotion. Although her reaction seemed common for this experience (based on what I read), her male colleague(s) expressed she was being ‘emotional’, ‘not a team player’, ‘didn’t see the good for the company’…add any other descriptor as you wish.
This post is not about female vs. male, rather interactions between humans. How we choose to react doesn’t matter by ones gender, nor do we need to use gender as to how one is expected to ‘typically react’ - try to walk a mile in someone’s shoes. Every human has a right to an emotional reaction. It’s how, and how long you choose to react, and stay in that emotional state that matters most.
I believe what happened to the women was not acceptable, and based on what I observed, I trust she’s using this experience to propel her forward, in a way that feels right for her. And to be clear, I truly believe a stigma exists about humans who are emotional and perceived as sensitive – unfortunately, women typically have this label and/or stereotyped. We can expand further another time, if we choose.
As I read each comment on this post, many thoughts rolled through my head ranging from;
‘Wow, that’s a terrible situation…’
‘How can we be more transparent…’
‘Goodness, this is a common occurrence for so many…!”
‘How is this still happening…?!’
I observed my thoughts getting stronger and became curious as I read through each comment. I grew curious about the number of humans, mainly women, who also experienced similar situations. I observed deep empathy, and my compassion grew with every comment I read. Here’s the thing, I’ve been working in corporations for almost fifteen years as an Organizational Change Manager, and trained in several modalities as I’m deeply curious about humans – our state of mind.
What I observed in myself is why I stopped reading the comments and wrote this post…I held more compassion for the ones who were responsible for this women’s demotion. I wonder if this man was aware of the impact he had on others? Was he aware of his behavior? I perceived that these humans (men?) in that organization were very comfortable making excuses for poor behavior and creating an unsafe environment.
I wonder what would happen if we became aware of our thoughts? Would humans continue to behave this way? Would they understand the impact of their actions and behaviors? Some might say they wouldn’t care because that’s how they are. However, when we are in pain ourselves, we (often unconsciously) want others around us to also be in pain! This cycle is dangerous and leads to toxicity.
Not to get to ‘sciency’, although, neuroscience tells us that the more we fire and wire the thoughts we want to have and behave more aligned to who we want to become, we become this. I strongly believe that when we become conscious of our actions, become aware of our internal + external environment, we become aware of the ripple effects created (the good, the bad, and the ugly), only then, can we truly become better versions of ourselves! Awareness is key!
We can be better and do better for everyone around us, and more importantly, we get to live a fulling life, feeling happy and empowered. This is the world I chose to live in. This is the work I chose to do. What thoughts and actions do you choose to have? How do you wish to live?
I encourage you to start becoming aware of your thoughts, aware of your actions and behaviors, aware of your emotional responses.
Meditation is the greatest teacher – there’s many guided meditations or teachers available for you.
Find a neuroscience-based change program that allows you to become conscious of your habits, emotions, and behaviors.
Find a coach to help you take action as you choose to step into the greatest version of yourself.
Use psychometrics and programs to highlight areas that need improvement.
Most of all. Choose. Just choose to do something good today!
With so much love and ease…
To your best self!