Choosing the best version of you…
“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
* Photo by Peter Nelson on Unsplash
How do you choose to treat yourself and others, both personally and professionally?
Over the past couple days, I’ve been listening to the book “Real Happiness at Work”, by Sharon Salzberg. She explores the eight pillars of work satisfaction, taking me back to some of my foundational practices, remembering compassion and human intentions - I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to explore mindfulness or what it means to simply be a ‘good human being’. 😊
As I write this, I’m mindful that Sharon’s teachings are very present for me, as I consider how we engage with each other during uncomfortable situations.
Today, I came across a post about a women’s experience being demoted. She eloquently described her expertise and then the actions and behaviors of her (male) colleagues during and after her demotion. Although her reaction seemed common for this experience (based on what I read), her male colleague(s) expressed she was being ‘emotional’, ‘not a team player’, ‘didn’t see the good for the company’…add any other descriptor as you wish.
This post is not about female vs. male, rather interactions between humans. How we choose to react doesn’t matter by ones gender, nor do we need to use gender as to how one is expected to ‘typically react’ - try to walk a mile in someone’s shoes. Every human has a right to an emotional reaction. It’s how, and how long you choose to react, and stay in that emotional state that matters most.
I believe what happened to the women was not acceptable, and based on what I observed, I trust she’s using this experience to propel her forward, in a way that feels right for her. And to be clear, I truly believe a stigma exists about humans who are emotional and perceived as sensitive – unfortunately, women typically have this label and/or stereotyped. We can expand further another time, if we choose.
As I read each comment on this post, many thoughts rolled through my head ranging from;
‘Wow, that’s a terrible situation…’
‘How can we be more transparent…’
‘Goodness, this is a common occurrence for so many…!”
‘How is this still happening…?!’
I observed my thoughts getting stronger and became curious as I read through each comment. I grew curious about the number of humans, mainly women, who also experienced similar situations. I observed deep empathy, and my compassion grew with every comment I read. Here’s the thing, I’ve been working in corporations for almost fifteen years as an Organizational Change Manager, and trained in several modalities as I’m deeply curious about humans – our state of mind.
What I observed in myself is why I stopped reading the comments and wrote this post…I held more compassion for the ones who were responsible for this women’s demotion. I wonder if this man was aware of the impact he had on others? Was he aware of his behavior? I perceived that these humans (men?) in that organization were very comfortable making excuses for poor behavior and creating an unsafe environment.
I wonder what would happen if we became aware of our thoughts? Would humans continue to behave this way? Would they understand the impact of their actions and behaviors? Some might say they wouldn’t care because that’s how they are. However, when we are in pain ourselves, we (often unconsciously) want others around us to also be in pain! This cycle is dangerous and leads to toxicity.
Not to get to ‘sciency’, although, neuroscience tells us that the more we fire and wire the thoughts we want to have and behave more aligned to who we want to become, we become this. I strongly believe that when we become conscious of our actions, become aware of our internal + external environment, we become aware of the ripple effects created (the good, the bad, and the ugly), only then, can we truly become better versions of ourselves! Awareness is key!
We can be better and do better for everyone around us, and more importantly, we get to live a fulling life, feeling happy and empowered. This is the world I chose to live in. This is the work I chose to do. What thoughts and actions do you choose to have? How do you wish to live?
I encourage you to start becoming aware of your thoughts, aware of your actions and behaviors, aware of your emotional responses.
Meditation is the greatest teacher – there’s many guided meditations or teachers available for you.
Find a neuroscience-based change program that allows you to become conscious of your habits, emotions, and behaviors.
Find a coach to help you take action as you choose to step into the greatest version of yourself.
Use psychometrics and programs to highlight areas that need improvement.
Most of all. Choose. Just choose to do something good today!
With so much love and ease…
To your best self!
Your Brilliance…Your Power!
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why do we pause doing what brings us joy? Why do we feel we are not worthy of being heard? Why have you not fully stepped into your full expression of your power?
It’s been over two years since I wrote my thoughts for the world to experience!
My last post was called ‘The Edge’. I was reminded of my own brilliance when I received an email from a beautiful soul, thanking me for connecting. This soul continued to share that my words in ‘The Edge’ resonated as she too had a similar experience of following her passion. She then asked when I would be speaking publicly or sharing more about my experiences.
That email was the final nudge to lean in deeper. That one simple expression of gratitude unraveled the final piece of my puzzle to fully step into my human experience. To consciously understand the past two years of not serving other humans. To finally owning my gifts – my superpowers to serve others. My purpose. To finally take the leap and choose to show up and getting out of my own way.
You see, at the time of writing my last post {two years ago!} I thought I was ready. To be fair, I was ready to step into my purpose, my power, my passion. At the time. And then I pulled back!
Two years ago, I turtled. I started to feel the depth of my power, and I ran. Literally! I packed up and moved to another city using the perspective that “the Mountains were calling me home”. Who does that?! Me! The mountains were absolutely calling me to visit and immerse myself in their beauty and strength – and, they are simply a one-hour drive from my new backyard, or, a one-hour flight away! A move was the perfect distraction from serving the world and showing up in all parts of myself.
I experienced a great deal during my seven months back in ‘the Mountains’, I experienced greater aspects of myself that I didn’t know existed. I found a deeper, yet subtle strength. I found a part of me that needed to rest yet be seen. I straddled the line of growth yet kept to myself. I played in the mountains weekly yet began feeling my body needing to slow down. I worked hard yet enjoyed the rush. I kept busy yet, I believed I was resting. I often kept to myself yet desired greater community.
Here’s what I believe happens for humans when we step into our purpose on this planet, doing exactly what we’re called to be doing. We get scared. We turtle. We may get a taste of our power and fear kicks in. Typically, unconsciously. ‘Up levelling’ as some would say, can be uncomfortable as the level of expansion stirs our soul in ways we’ve not (yet) experienced. This concept is not new, at all. However, how each human masks their fear is unique. Unconsciously knowing how their choices impact their lives.
As I feel into the choice of moving and all the choices that came before, I continued to mask decisions so that I did not have to show up. The Edge. When was the last time you said yes to yourself? Truly, heartfelt, YES!
When I received that gift, that email, I realized it was time to no longer hide my gifts from the world.
I felt a deep sense of pride as I re-read my last post. Pride of all my creations – programs I developed, videos I created, writing I did, even an attempt at painting. What I know to be true. Once we are aware of our behaviors and patterns…there is no turning back. THIS is the greatest honouring humans can give themselves. Awareness. My desire has always been to help other humans become aware of who they truly are. The full expression of who you are meant to be in this life! And, this will shift as you grow.
Do you deeply know who you are? What excites you? What scares you? Are you unshakeable at the core? Do you continue to wear a mask in fear of being seen? Please remember – you get to choose the life you desire. You get to choose how you want to show up every day. Please find someone who can help you become an even greater version of yourself. For you! Don’t let two years pass before you choose. Trust me. The path on the other side of being closer to freedom is much sweeter!
* Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash
Your Edge...
"You didn't need faith to fly, you needed to understand flying" ~ Richard Bach, 2006, 57
What does it mean to be uncomfortable in your skin, to be unwavering about who you are? Do you have the ability for honest, bold conversations? To trust that when pushed to your edge, that you are safe?
I recently read an article on Authenticity – which, for those that know me or read my first blog, this is the juicy space I choose to live. Conversations with me go deep, and quick. I take you to your edge and gently wait until your soul is ready to fly, and then give you a gentle push…knowing you will soar high, like an eagle taking flight with full freedom. I have your back!
The edge. The edge can be a terrifying place if you don’t know the outcome of what might be on the other side. It takes deep trust in yourself that you WILL manage whatever is thrown at you. You WILL work through whatever life gives you. Trust me. I know. I’m living this as I write this piece. I’m a visionary. I soar high seeing the possibility in others and never fully trusted this in me…until recently. Until I reached my edge, and was pushed. There was nothing gentle about this push. There was no coach making sure I could soar before I was pushed. The choice was made for me to jump.
Let me give you context. I’m an independent consultant who works on major projects that I call my day job. Or, shall I say, was my day job. I’ve heard stories of contracts abruptly ending and for the first time in my career, I experienced this myself. I had two options. Seek another contract where the (perceived) security of a fixed term would support me financially OR I forgo the independent consulting world and become a full time self-employed entrepreneur following my passion.
I choose to create my reality every day, and with that, I also get to become fully self-employed. With all my being, I am pursing my passion in leading others to see their true potential, their authentic self while supporting overall wellness. THIS is the life I choose. I choose my edge. I choose to soar and follow my heart and no longer allow the (perceived) safety of secure employment/contracts to hold back my life purpose. The coolest part of my edge, I WAS ready. I just needed the push in order to trust myself. To trust that I am always taken care of and can handle whatever is thrown at me. Resilient.
The real gift happened when I said yes. YES when the universe gave me a choice after being pushed to follow my heart’s desire. My dreams to serve others on a full time basis and no longer just in my spare time. ALL my time!
What is your edge? Is this having a tough conversation with a loved one and not knowing the outcome? Purchasing a new home or car and not confidant about the additional expenses? Choosing to start a family or change your career? Will you get the tools you need to trust your decisions? Whatever your edge - will you chose to soar, today?
With love,
Trina
Knowing Self
“ Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway”.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I’m curious the last time you felt empowered by a decision you made, a choice to say yes that made you smile, lit your soul, made your belly flop, made your heart sing. Was this today? This week? This month? This year?
Daily, I wake and remind myself that I get to choose how I feel. I choose to take care of my body, mind, spirit, and daily I grow more in love with myself. The more I get to know me and honor all parts of me, love deepens – a super cool feeling! I challenge perspectives, both my own and others, I push my body physically, and nourish with whole, clean foods, challenge myself intellectually through continued learning and inspirational practice, and take time to silence my mind and spirit.
I also want to remind you that this juicy place I live took many years to arrive. Years of asking myself tough questions and some very challenging experiences that made me dig deep into all parts of me. I found mentors and coaches to support me, took time to think about me and this life I want to play in. I continue to be challenged as I live this human experience and recognize this is simply part of daily living. Only until recently have I played at this delicious level …and I desire this for you. I desire for you to shorten your time to deep personal, self love and respect. Living the best life possible.
Yes, I am fortunate to live in this juicy place to remind myself to play, to be real, and honor all parts of me. This takes a significant amount of trust and patience. I am unwavering about who I am, my deepest desires, and becoming unapologetic along the way – all parts of me. This might sound delicious to read AND it is. AND, it can be a lonely place to live as I make decisions that are right for me, yet not always favorable, nor ones that many people can relate to. With that, I at times conform to other people’s ideals and forget about what I need to fill my soul and to nourish my body and spirit.
This summer, I was reminded of self-care when I travelled to see family as I forgot about my daily practice. Became wrapped into family attachments. Lacked sleep. Lacked exercise. Lacked personal space. I also chose not to have deep, inspirational conversations. Even though my heart was full of love for family and was honored to be with them, I struggled on all levels as I forgot to practice. Forgot about what I needed to stay grounded and nourish me, even with loved ones. As I drove back to my sweet home in Vancouver, BC, I had a great deal of time to reflect on what was working and not working for me. This is what I know to be true.
1. I know myself, to the core. I encourage you to ask yourself the tough questions about what you need to be filled, daily. What works for you on the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual level - do more of this! What areas do you struggle most?
2. The more I feed my soul and am selfish with my time, the more I have to give to others. Honor yourself more. Find what lights you up, whether physical activities, sports, serving your community, music, dance, hobbies, introspection, self-care. Discover what lights you up and do this!
3. Perfection doesn’t exist. You will ebb and flow. We are human with deep emotions and daily, we change. We discover more about ourselves as we learn more about life and what we enjoy or chose to push away. Your partner will also change – nothing is static. Your interests will also shift. It’s ok.
4. Patience. For the love of God – be gentle with yourself. See above, perfection does not exist and your sweet soul needs more love, which takes patience. Be patient with both self and others as they too have daily struggles and discovery. This life we live is all about practice.
5. Lighten up. Play more! Life is meant to be shared with others. See point #2...when you find what you love, you will naturally soften and want to play more. Life becomes a bit more easeful. Trust me. This is fun!
6. I surround myself with other cool humans, ones who share similar values, who choose to show up in all parts of their life. Some are smarter, prettier, fitter, wealthier – so that I continue to be pushed to the next level in my life.
7. Ego has no place in my life. Wait, I’m human! This can be a natural response to experiences, however, I remember that some people are just better at some things than I am, and vise versa. Get over yourself and recognize your greatness...your ego will shed. See above, point #6
You might think a couple things; 1. This is a lot of work. Yup, sure is. Just one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Courageous conversations. This is why I do the work I do – on both a personal and professional level. I no longer choose mediocrity in my life nor do I want this for you. You deserve greatness on all levels, and only until you shed what no longer serves you, will you find freedom. 2. This girl is blowing smoke! Not really, however, for you, maybe this is your truth and doesn’t resonate. I live this human experience the best way possible, sharing what I know to be real and will continue to learn, like you.
With love,
Trina
You are Enough....
The forest. The trees. The mountains. The ocean. Mother Nature. She is always enough. She gives us life and never expects anything in return. She nourishes our soul when we need healing and grounding, she gives us oxygen and cleanses the air. She provides food and basic human needs.
Today, I think about Mother Nature as I sit in my new home so close to the forest and feel the energy and presence of her strength, reminding me that I too am enough. Stay with me for a moment….
We humans struggle to be more, become more, do more. Be fitter. Wealthier. Prettier. Smarter. Possibly at the expense of not honoring exactly who you are, today, just as you are. I am humbly reminded as the rain and fog hover the tree line that we get exactly what we need and am grateful for the beauty and nourishment I get daily from the forest. I strive to be a better human than I was yesterday. I strive for Fitness. Health. Learning. Wealth. To be a better version of myself than I was yesterday.
Today, I am reminded that I too can get all that I desire AND honor my deep desire and drive to expand myself. To always be more with humility, grace, gratitude, and FULL acceptance of me. Just as I. am. My imperfections and strength as I create abundance in all parts of my life.
Be enough. Be your perfect self. I encourage you to honor and love all parts of you as we play this thing called life. Not always easy, yet if you open yourself and surrender to the simple pleasures, you will be rewarded with the greatest abundance to whatever your heart and soul desires.
With love.
The {most recent} Journey
The whisper, the nudge, the push. It all began with a simple comment “Maybe when you return from your travels, you need to think about doing “this” {energetics/healing training} is what my mentor shared during a coaching session. “What” I exclaimed, “do what you do? Are you crazy?!?”
…Fast forward 6 years. I AM doing what ‘he’ does, just my version. My truth. My vision. My skills.
Here’s what I know to be true about all of us humans. We are complex, simple, pure – a dichotomy of emotions and experiences. We desire connection, love, openness in a form very personal and unique to each person. We walk or run through life at a pace that might not work for us, spreading our shit as we try to find connection, our tribe, our true self. Without question, most conscious leaders express that connection to both community and self is imperative for growth. I ask, how the heck do we AUTHENTICALLY connect without really knowing our self or what we desire? Do we even know what authentic connection is and knowing one’s self at the deepest level?
I once thought I did…
I spoke about all things authentic. Authentic happiness. Authentic knowing. Authentic love. *insert your adjective of choice and I’m pretty sure I said that as well. Authenticity was my bucket, catch phrase. What I didn’t know at the time is that I was NOT living authentically. What the…?! Really? Me, not living authentically?? I continued the internal dialogue ‘BUT, I worked so hard to find balance and the gentle dance in life we play’. Nope. Try again.
Over the past 3-6 months I REALLY got to experience authenticity. Authentic to the depths of my soul as I dug deep, went inside, sobbed through the (perceived) loneliness and isolation, sobbed and sat quietly through integration of all that I learned and through the moments I chose not to live and show up in all that I taught others. Sat quietly as I integrated and woke to a new integration. How do I KNOW? There’s a depth, a vulnerability, my soul is unwavering, my truth and knowing self. I live the human experience of emotions and see my blind spots and pain-points in life when they come up…and deal with them! No more running. Cowering. Pushing. I stand firm, strong, open. Some days, I surprise myself with my reactions to life. I show up more. I face my fears (ok, maybe the conversation take a few days….I’m human first!) but am real, walking this path of life with my heart full, connected, and wide open.
I stir the soul of everyone I meet. I stir thoughts, emotions, concepts, desires. I am not interested in knowing the surface you choose to share, I’m interested in your depth. What keeps you up at night. What is your greatest desire. How do you want to feel daily. How do you yearn for your family, your love, your soul. I want to know how you choose to leave your mark, e.v.e.r.y. day.
Our souls crave knowing. Crave being stirred. Crave a new experience. Stay tuned for your soul to be stirred! To allow yourself to gently experience life with grace, ease, expansion.
Will you join me on a journey of discovering your authentic self. If you want to know more….reach out. Ask. Ask yourself first – ‘what do I desire most’. How do I get there. What map can I create to do this. Not sure? Let me help you become the greatest version of you!
With love,
Your authentic connection.